The Cheating Wife and Divorce
Where do I start?I did try to provide for a happy marriage. I was the typical "Yes Dear" husband, always doing what the wife and especially the kids wanted. The boys got into NASCAR (diecasts, TV time and going to many races). Packers (endless visits to training camp for bike riding), LEGO's (purchased way too many sets that were insanely expensive), Disney World (did 11 trips to Florida and Disney World). I did not have the greatest jobs, but everything I earned went into the family and I hoped that she would also provide and earn for the family.
Back In The Workforce
After getting let go from Earth Tech and the decent money I had made, it was expected that she would go back to work from being a stay at home mom. After a failed attempt at one company, she moved to the Village of Suamico. She would talk about him and the some of hijinx they would do. I did hear about an occasional chocolate on her desk and that one day they were called into the supervisors office and told that they should tone it down. Then one day she came home crying, saying that all the other ladies were talking about them. I told her it was just office politics and that they were jealous, did I ever have it wrong. In fact, I could not be farther from wrong about what was happeningTexts Discovered
In May of 2012 it was getting close to our 20th anniversary and having to do the obligatory gift purchase. Well we, I would say, were not the closest couple and I thought about doing something to "spice" things up. I decided I would go to Victorias Secret and get something "sexy", not sure what, never made it that far. The one thing I knew, is this I didn't know her size in the lingerie department. To find out, I decided to go through her panty draw and get the size right. The drawer was a plastic cabinet in the closet and nothing unusual about it. As I was going through, I found two books, like diaries, on the bottom of the drawer. Curious...sure, nosey...no, caught off guard...HELL YEAH. It didn't take me long to figure out what they were and how much damage they were to our marriage. In the first book were handwritten notes of their texting (sexting mor like it), where she would write a time either she or he sent a text and then the tet message. It had been going on for some time and a lot of the texts were about things they did during the day and night. Many texts were about what they did and what they wanted to do, very sexual in nature. The other book was more like a calendar and had dates of things they did and just plain dates that were planned.Jeep Rides
Now he is an administrator for the Village of Suamico and one would think should be respected and have a commitment to the village. One common activity that was mentioned a lot was Jeep rides, taking long rides during work and after work. I do not try to think about what happened on these rides, but it doesn't take much thought to think they were not innocent rides. I also wonder if these rides were done during working hours and the village was getting screwed also.Seven Years
The first thing I did was photocopy the books, I don't know the reason exactly (proof, to hold over her, placing blame), but I did. Of course, the next stop was a confrontation about the texts and her explanation of what was going on. Her first comment, after her shock that I found the texts, was that nothing beyond casual flirting was going on. I never once believed her, but I did accept her apology and her stating that it would not happen again. At his time she had already left Suamico and took another very nice job at another company.Now I said I did accept her apology and I hoped she would remain faithful, but I could not look at her the same. Since that talk, I never once kissed or slept with her again. To accomplish this, I took to movies, I would start a movie later in the evening when things with the family were settling down for the night. Of course, being later, I would "Fall" asleep on the couch. This was the start of me buying many DVD movies so that I had something to fall alseep to. I would think she knew what I was doing, but the boys, I guess, never had any indication as to what was going on. I did this for 7 (SEVEN) years, sleeping on the couch. I remember we would walk past each other in the house and it was like she displayed contempt in her eyes.
In that seven years, we did do many things as a family and a couple, mainly excruciatingly horrible country concerts, Packer games in St. Louis and Cincinnati, trips to Disney World, Myrtle Beach/Atlantic Beach, a trip to Smoky Mountains and NFL Hall of Fame, NASCAR races in Bristol, Chicago, and Daytona.
I also took a few "boys only" Spring Break trips Canton, OH/Air Force Museum/Indy Museum and Florida to visit parents, where she would be home alone. I know I thought about what was going on in my bed, was she sleeping with him? I just didn't dwell on it and it would just drive me crazy. Remember, at this time I was assured she was faithful and not having an affair. I did not follow her or try to investigate all her whereabouts. She did go into work on the weekends quite frequently and I assumed she was at work. I do remember having to go close to her work and not see her car and given she went to the store after working.
I did also have many regrets, throwing her a huge 50th birthday party, inviting all her friends and family, renting a hall and everything. The biggest regret was staying around and not divoring her immediately. I know the whole cliche, "don't do it for the kids", but Adam was still young and I would have put them through the "visitation" crap. However, it gave her time to plan onhow to take everything and leave me for the worse.
Finally Rid Of The Bitch
Sometime in the spring of 2019 I got a letter addressed to me from a lawyer firm. Of course I need to read this and open the letter saying my wife is requesting a divorce. The bitch didn't even have the courtesy to tell me herself and I found out she had been seeing a lawyer for quite some time and guess where the money to pay them was coming from. I was threatened with alimony and like an idiot didn't look for a lawyer as I was told Wisconsin is a no-fault state and it wouldn't help.So I moved on and in the over 6 years since the court divorce I have not seen the horrible, wicked witch. Oh, in the case if she was still carrying on an affair, she is now married to the adulterer, it never stopped. I still say I was married for 20 years, the time before finding out about her affair.
Proof Is In The Pudding
When I was informed of the divorce, I was at first apologetic and went to her mothers to explain myself and I actually asked to be forgiven for my faults during our marriage. She then actually said to me that she forgave me and I had made many mistakes during the marriage, essentially blaming me for the failed marriage. However, I did find out later that she knew of the affair all along as she told a friend. That fucking bitch had the adacity to sit there and look me in the face and blame me for the divorce. That fucking cunt can rot in hell.I later reached out to his ex to ask about some issues I was dealing with. She did not know of my divorce and was surprised that she asked for the divorce and not me. I then asked is she suspected something bewtween the two of our ex's and she told me she was very aware of their involvement and that it started in late 2010, but didn't know exactly when they crossed the line. She was convinced that she was nuts several times by him. She then told me that the Village Hall all knew of the impropriaties and were called into Administrator's and told to keep it out of office (probably the reason for the jeep rides). She even then told me he was seen driving into Howard when he should have been in Suamico. It was in 2016 when they were seen by a friend of hers walking hand in hand on a trail. She then asked him who was leaving and he moved out that day.